


Hold my hand and I'll walk with you

by icywind



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 21:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16457273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icywind/pseuds/icywind
Summary: Bucky Barnes, recently discharged from the Army due to the loss of his arm, has gone to Saratoga Springs to help his little sister Rebecca and her husband run their B&B. It takes a while, but he slowly begins to settle into a routine - and that's when fate, in the guise of the circus, throws him a curve ball.





	Hold my hand and I'll walk with you

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my amazing artist solstice whose awesome work can be found [ here ](http://natwasp.tumblr.com/post/179577176284/channeling-my-inner-hawkeye-with-all-the-coffee-i)!
> 
> Thank you to [dapperanachronism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism) and [ ereshai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai/works) for the beta.

 

 

Bucky groaned as the alarm went off. It was too damned early to be getting up. Did he really want breakfast that badly? Yes. Yes he did. Or, at least he wanted the alarm to shut up. Still only partially awake, he went to push himself up and flip over – forgetting that he no longer had his left arm to do that with.

“Fuck.” He said into the pillow as the alarm kept beeping away. Eventually he fumbled and managed to grab the phone off of the night stand, knocking over his bottle of water in the process. Well. That was why he no longer used a glass he thought glumly, burying his face in his pillow.

Maybe if he sat like this long enough he'd smother himself and not have to get up.

His phone chimed that he had a text and he turned his head to glare at it.

Rebecca: _Good morning big bro!_ His sister had seen fit to send.

Bucky: _I hate you_

Rebecca: _:)_

“How'd you even know I was awake?” he asked as soon as she picked up the call, the phone smooshed up against his face.

“I set the alarm for you last night,” she replied and right, yeah, she had. “What do you want for breakfast? John's taking orders.”

“Food,” Bucky said, eloquently.

“And just for that you're gonna get plastic fruit.”

Bucky smiled even though he knew she couldn't see it. “Bacon and eggs with toast I guess?”

“And fruit, real fruit. If Johnny was making a quiche I'd make you have that instead, get some veggies into you.”

“Hey, I'm a good boy, I eat my fruits and veggies,” he argued.

“Well, I suppose you do – but you better keep that up okay?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Ma'am he says, I'd applaud such manners but I don't feel much like a ma'am.”

“If it helps you'll always be my baby sister?”

“I suppose that will do. Okay Shower, shave, and get over here before I eat your food as well as mine. No smothering yourself in your pillows.”

“Take away all my fun,” he groused before hanging up and wallowing in bed for another few minutes.

Getting up sucked. Sometimes. Most of the time really, if he was being honest. But, his sister wouldn't let him stay in bed all day. She had for a little while when he'd first arrived. Let him wallow in misery. Sit in bed all day, pretending he didn't know what a shower was, cursing the fact that he couldn't get a job and had had to move upstate to the country. That he'd had to accept his little sister's help when he'd always been the one that she'd looked to.

But that had only been for a few days. Then Rebecca had come in and done her best to lever him off of the bed and into his shower with his clothes still on (he'd only just managed to stop her before she'd turned the water on). She'd told him he'd had enough time to revel in his misery and that now they had to do something about it.

He'd been annoyed at the time, but honestly he loved her for what she'd done. Getting him up and out. Giving him a job and a routine (because, fuck, the routine helped so much.) She didn't have to do that; hell, with everything going on in her life right then she really didn't have time to take of her grown ass brother. Not with an inn to run and a busy season coming up. Not with a baby on the way. But she had.

She was probably too good for him, but he wasn't too proud to accept that. So he eventually got up and headed into the shower. He'd briefly entertained ideas of letting his hair grow out but having to ask Rebecca for help in putting it back all the time had put the kibosh on that, and he'd let her trim it short, though not army regulation short – he wanted _some_ distance. He skipped shaving because he actually rather liked the beard he was growing and it was good to let a little laziness into his schedule, threw on some clothes and ambled into the dining room of the inn about twenty minutes after he'd gotten off the phone with his sister.

“It lives!” Rebecca said, rising to give him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“It does,” he agreed, helping her sit back and down and joining her at the table where his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon with toast was waiting for him. Bucky offered a thumbs up to Rebecca's husband John when he passed through with breakfast for another couple and got the usual quiet smile in response. John was good people and Bucky liked him, was glad he and Rebecca had found each other.

As tended to happen within the Barnes family, Bucky had been on Rebecca's side when the rest of their siblings and their parents had been skeptical at the idea of she and her husband moving north from the city to Saratoga Springs to open a bed and breakfast. And though it had only been three years ago now that they'd opened, the business was thriving – they'd even been in a national magazine just the month before.

Now they were in June which was steady but not busy, not like when the racing meet opened at the end of next month anyway (Rebecca mentioned they'd been booked solid for the entirety of each racing meet since their first year. And this year year the books had filled from July 19th through September 4th since they'd opened up booking for those months back in February). Rebecca wasn't due until November, but she'd need Bucky during the busy season regardless. 

All in all it was a quieter life than he'd envisioned for himself years ago but one he found he was settling into quite comfortably.

 

~~

 

“Hello?”

Bucky glanced up from the desk he was sitting at to see a blonde man poke his head around the corner from the foyer. “Uh, Hi.” Smooth one Barnes, he thought as the man walked fully into view. He was average height, hair actually darker than Bucky had first thought. His build was, well, it was damn fine. Muscled but not overly so, solid but not bulky and Bucky was shocked he was taking such note of a complete stranger, especially when he had a job to do. “Hi, welcome to Triple Crown Bed and Breakfast. Checking in?”

“Sadly no,” the blonde replied, glancing around at the homey décor. “I was actually wondering if you might have an area I could post a flier?”

“A flier for...?”

“For the circus,” the 'of course' was left off but implied by the tone. The man smiled and Bucky found himself smiling back for some stupid reason.

“I didn't know there was a circus in town,” Bucky replied.

“Well, technically we haven't arrived quite yet, I'm part of the forward vanguard, so to speak, though we also sent out information a few months ago after we finalized our route.”

“I'm pretty new here so that might explain it,” Bucky informed the man, though he was unsure why he was. It wasn't like he was going to see him again. He didn't owe the stranger any sort of explanation. He accepted the flier, which was unlike the usual bright and colorful ones from the big circuses like Ringling Brothers. It was less fantastical than Cirque du Soleil as well, though the tasteful artwork leaned more towards the style of the latter. Romanov’s Circus of Dreams the flier proclaimed.

“So I'm not the owner but I don't think she'll mind,” Bucky explained, coming around the desk to stand next to the stranger for a moment before gesturing for him to follow. He had to have noticed Bucky's lack of left arm by this point though he said nothing, his glance didn't even linger like most people and Bucky's estimation of the man ticked up a notch.

“We've got this board here for the flier and if you have anything smaller I could keep some at the front desk?” Bucky said, gesturing at the board in the entryway.

“I do have some rack cards thanks,” the stranger said, digging into his messenger bag with another smile and pulling out said rack cards while Bucky hung the flier in a place of prominence.

“Hey no problem.” Bucky said accepting the cards. “I'd also hit up the cafe down the road a pace – they've got a good bulletin board and they do excellent business.”

“Thanks for the suggestions, it's really cool of you,” the stranger said. “You know, hang on,” he dug around in his bag again before pulling something else out. “Here's a complimentary ticket or three. Come on down and see the show when we're all set up.”

He waited patiently while Bucky juggled the rack cards so he could grab the tickets. There was no date on them which Bucky took to mean they were good for any show. “Are you sure?”

“Hey man, it’s good for our business. If you like it you can tell your guests about it.” The stranger seemed to check himself. “I mean, I hope you like it. It’s a circus, what’s not to like?” 

“Okay, thanks,” Bucky said. He wasn't quite sure how to go about explaining that he'd never actually been to a circus before in his life. He also wasn't sure why he would want to admit that to the stranger.

“See you in a few weeks!” the blonde man said as he strode out the door. Bucky may have watched him walk over to a bike parked in the lot but that was just curiosity and not at all because the man had a rather nice ass that was hugged just right by his faded jeans.

“What's up Boo Bear?” Rebecca said from behind Bucky and he didn't jump, though it was a near thing, before turning around to give her a withering stare.

“You know I hate that name.”

“That's why I use it,” she replied sunnily, hand resting on the swell of her stomach. At six months pregnant she was still comfortable looking, though she was starting to grouse about her size. “Did you get his name and number?”

“What? Whose?” Bucky made his way back to the desk.

“Who he asks,” he could feel her rolling her eyes. “The hottie whose ass you were checking out.”

“I wasn't checking out anyone's ass,” Bucky lied, puttering around the desk, trying to figure out where to put the rack cards.

“Sure you weren't,” Rebecca replied, grabbing one of the cards to take a look. “Oh – a circus hottie.”

“He stopped by to ask if we had a spot for a flier, I just showed him where the board was and offered to put up the rack cards as well. It's in,” he glanced at a card, “ten days looks like.”

“He didn't happen to say what he did for the circus did he?”

“No Becks, he didn't. We didn't talk all that long to be honest.” Which made him a little sad when he thought about it. The guy had a nice smile.

“Does Boo Bear need some help flirting again?”

“Imma walk out,” he mock threatened. If he was being honest he probably did need some help flirting again, but he wasn't going to be flirting with a random guy from a circus that was for sure. He didn't want to flirt anyway, he had enough shit to deal with. Besides...who'd want him now? One-armed useless bum that he was. Hell, if not for his sister he wouldn't even have a job right now and-

As if sensing that his thoughts were going to a darker place Rebecca put a hand on his shoulder and offered a smile. No words were needed to stop his spiral, just the look and brief touch was enough to bring him up short from the abyss.

“Thanks,” he whispered and he couldn't help but smile when she slid her arms around him.

“Anytime Jimmy.”

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

Before Bucky realized it ten days had passed and the circus was officially in town. He'd waffled back and forth about actually going to the show several times in the intervening week; telling himself it was silly – then telling himself it would be rude not to use free tickets – then going back to thinking maybe he should give away the tickets... So it was with some surprise that he found himself waiting in line to get into the big tent on the evening of the 23rd.

It opened with a spotlight on a stunning woman with red hair dressed in a ringmaster’s costume that seemed to glow. She gestured grandly into the darkness around her as if to welcome all to the show, tipped her hat with a wide smile and, with a flourish, pointed to the sky where another spotlight suddenly outlined another young woman at a platform for a tightrope act. The ringmaster vanished into the darkness as the woman on the tightrope began her act. 

There was an ethereal quality to every act, ghost like clowns (at least he thought they were meant to be clowns they were not so buffoonish as the clowns in popular culture) juggling was the next act, followed by a man and woman doing a silks routine, then some acrobats tumbling across the stage floor. There was a rhythm to it all, an aerial based act followed by a floor based act all flowing by in a dream like trance and Bucky found himself mesmerized with no real idea how much time was passing. 

A trapeze act was just finishing up and he had a brief moment to wonder if that might be one of the last acts when one of the paper streamers the trapeze artists had showered upon the guests was suddenly skewered by an arrow. The spotlight then illuminated the archer and though Bucky hadn’t gotten to look at him for all that long, he did recognize the man that had delivered the flier to the inn. He was just as stunning, possibly more so, than he had been that day. Sinfully tight pants or maybe tights that looked black but had a purple sheen in the light, purple glitter and the strap of his quiver the only thing he wore on his chest, the ensemble finished off by more glitter in his hair and a confident smirk on his face. He was gorgeous and Bucky found himself a little stupefied as he watched the circus hottie prowl around then leap with acrobatic skill all while making impossible shot after impossible shot. he’d never seen an act quite like it and he was left feeling a sense of loss when the archer shot a final arrow that trailed sparks behind it up and into a target on the ceiling.

The rest of the circus passed in a blur and Bucky felt half in a trance when he stumbled out of the big tent along with the rest of the crowd, his mind filled with images of the archer.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

“You came!” A male voice exclaimed from behind Bucky as he stood in line at the coffee shop the following morning. He didn't react at first because the voice wasn't familiar and he wasn't expected by anyone, but then a moment later the voice was right up next to him and a hand was hovering near his side and he balked, taking a step back as the voice said, “I wasn't sure-oh hey, sorry!” The hand paused in its wave and a second joined it in a surrender gesture. “Sorry! Sorry, I wasn't going to touch you, just wanted to wave and get your attention, I'm used to needing to add non-verbal signals. Didn't think about how it might startle someone outside the family.” The circus hottie said once Bucky turned and saw it was him behind him in line.

“I – what?” Man, if he hadn't still been getting over the massive adrenaline dump being startled had given him he'd be more annoyed with how stupid he probably must sound. As it was he was mostly trying to get his heart to calm the fuck down.

“You came! To the circus,” the guy elaborated. He had to be picking up on Bucky's nerves but he didn't seem to want to call attention to them, thankfully, he just continued to prattle on. “I mean, I didn't expect to see you here – though maybe I should have because of that recommendation, the coffee is amazing here so thanks for that, but what I meant was – thanks for coming to the show.”

“How did you know I came to the show last night?” Bucky asked, charmed by the nattering despite himself. Maybe they tracked comp tickets – that made good sense really and maybe he had gotten one of the only ones or--

“I saw you in the audience,” Circus Hottie said, face going funny a second later. “I'm not like creeping on you or anything I just – I have good eyes and I happened to be hoping to spot you and that doesn't make it sound any better does it?” he finished, posture going sheepish, palm on the back of his neck and head ducking so he could look at Bucky through his lashes.

Bucky felt something stir inside of him. The guy was too hot to look as cute as he did like that, all bashful. It was categorically unfair. 

“Um, I'm just-” the guy hooked his thumbs over his shoulder and it was Bucky's turn to reach out but not quite touch.

“No it's, it's okay,” he tried on a smile and liked how it felt. He also really liked how it made Circus Hottie smile back at him. “Did you order already?”

“Coffee but not food,” he shrugged. “Wasn't sure what to get.”

“Zucchini bread for a snack, any of the sandwiches for a meal,” Bucky found himself saying.

“Good to know,” Circus Hottie said. “And what are you in for today?”

Bucky had initially planned only to grab some coffee but now...Circus Hottie had been looking for him.

“I was going to get lunch,” he said instead and maybe he was imagining things or maybe Circus Hottie's smile went a little flirty when Bucky followed up with “Can I join you maybe? Seating here is always at a premium.”

“Sure!” Circus Hottie continued to practically beam at him and Bucky took a couple of deep breaths because the adrenaline had him all sorts of keyed up and there was a rushing in his ears and a buzzing in his skin and a hot guy had been keeping an eye out for _him_ so why not maybe have lunch with him.

They ordered and paid for their food and Circus Hottie even waited for Bucky to get his drink before they returned to the table he'd been at with their little order numbers. Somehow Bucky managed to keep his hand from shaking and sloshing the drink all over the place but he did bump into the chair rather inelegantly and his smile was nervous as he took a seat.

“So um, my name is Clint by the way, Clint Barton,” Circus Hottie said holding out his hand. Bucky took it and enjoy the firm touch that lingered perhaps just a tiny bit.

“Bucky Barnes,” he returned.

“Bucky Barnes – way better than Inn Guy like I was calling you in my head.”

“Circus Guy,” Bucky lied in reply before shaking his head and letting out a huff of air. “Actually – Circus uh...Circus Hottie.” He felt his face heat but why not be honest? Just get it out there.

“You think I'm hot?” Barton asked and he looked genuinely pleased if a little coy.

“Smoked salmon for you and a falafel burger for you,” Maria said, setting their baskets down on the table and winking at Bucky as she grabbed the numbers and walked back to the counter. Well, there went the hope that his sister wasn't going to find out he was trying to flirt with the Circus H-Barton, that he was trying to flirt with Barton. Maria and Rebecca were thick as thieves. When Bucky had recommended the zucchini bread he'd been talking from experience – John made the bread for both the inn and the coffee shop from the zucchini they grew in the garden. There was no way Maria wasn't texting his sister the second she got back behind the counter.

“I um, ye-yes I do.” Bucky replied. “Think you’re hot.” He took a sip of his coffee to cover the bolt of panic that wanted to swamp him.

“Well then, in fairness, I feel the same.” Barton said and Bucky had just enough time to raise his eyebrows before Barton followed it with. “I too, think I am hot.” He laughed at himself for just a second before holding up a hand. “And you too. Fucking stunning actually, I got teased super hard for how much I went on about you to the others.” Barton stopped and looked at Bucky who was pretty much stuck staring in shock at him, his mouth agape. “Did-did I break you?”

“Maybe?” Bucky managed, voice coming out with the hint of a squeak to it. “I just.” How was he supposed to get the point across? “I'm, I'm not stunning-”

“Bull,” Barton replied and Bucky sat back a little. “Your cheekbones are to die for and those eyes of yours? Beautiful. Sorry to be so forward, but you're seriously attractive.”

“I haven't shaved in weeks and I'm missing an arm.” He replied lamely, wondering where his confidence from before had gone to.

“I'm deaf,” Barton shrugged and turned his head so Bucky could see the behind the ear aides he was wearing. “Having a disability doesn't make you less attractive.”

“It does to some people,” Bucky replied and hated himself a little because it sounded like he was pouting.

“Then those people were never good enough for you to begin with.”

Bucky knew he was blushing though he wasn't sure how much of it was from the complement earlier or the vague sense of shame over the fact that he needed a complete stranger to tell him he could still be attractive despite what had happened to him.

“Are you a circus performer or a self-help guru?” Bucky eventually asked, voice sounding a little gravely from emotions.

“Who says I can't be both?” Barton said, popping a chip in his mouth and winking at Bucky.

Bucky shook his head but began to dig into his meal anyway, belatedly recalling that the sandwich he'd chosen could be a little on the messy side and chalked up another point to 'this was really awkward and he should probably quit while he could and run back home and hide.' Still, despite all the awkward, they ate in surprisingly comfortable silence for a while until Barton cocked his head to the side a little and said, “Is uh, is there a reason the woman that brought us our food is watching us?”

Bucky let his head drop and slotted another point into 'going home to hide' with a side of 'not stopping at the inn and turning his phone off.' “That's Maria Hill, she's good friends with my sister and is more than likely telling her all about what a disaster I am right now.”

“Well things got a little awkward on both sides but I wouldn't say it was a disaster,” Barton said and Bucky looked up, a little surprised. “I'm still enjoying your company and I want to get to know you better.”

“I um – I feel the same,” Bucky replied, getting past his surprise more quickly than he expected. Barton didn't think he was an idiot. He could still salvage this. And he thought he knew just the way he could. “I really need to get to know myself better.” There was dead silence for a minute before Barton broke into a round of hearty laughter that Bucky couldn't help but join in on.

“See? You still got game,” Barton said, brandishing a chip at him.

“Rusty as hell.”

“Just gotta practice is all,” Barton continued. “I'll be happy to help with that by the way, and I'm here all week.”

And just like that things became easy again. They struck up a light conversation about nothing in particular but it didn't feel forced at all. Maybe it was the fact that no matter what happened whatever it was he was doing with Barton, this little flirtation they were trying to share, would be over in a week. So if he messed up it wouldn't matter, he wouldn't see Barton again. There wasn't any pressure. He could just let things go and see what would happen.

 

~~

 

In the end lunch had gone alright between the two of them. Barton was very quick to joke and flirted outrageously, and it reminded Bucky of when he had been the same way; and somehow by the end of things he'd gotten to a place where he was giving almost as good as he was getting. And he had a date for tomorrow.

He'd originally gone out to run a few errands so it was a few hours later before he made his way back to the inn, still smiling from his lunch with Barton.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Rebecca asked when he brought a bag into the parlor of the inn.

“I don't know what you're talking about?” He said, well, more like asked and she caught him out on it with a raised eyebrow.”

“You're smiling. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I missed it because you haven't smiled like that in a long time Jimmy.”

“I had a nice day.”

“More like a nice lunch with a hot guy.”

“Ah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Was kinda hoping you'd have forgotten about that.” She brandished her phone at him and on it was a picture that Maria must have taken of he and Barton talking. They were leaning somewhat towards each other and Bucky almost didn't recognize the expression on his face. He was - happy, honestly and genuinely happy. Had it really been so long for him since he'd felt that way?

“Maria needs to learn boundaries,” he said in lieu of anything Rebecca would've found useful.

“Jimbo,” she warned.

“Blagh, that's worse than Boo Bear.”

“Spill.”

“Not much to spill really,” he shrugged as he unpacked things. “I'm sure Maria mentioned how awkward it was.”

“The most awkward to ever awk, she said,” Rebecca supplied.

“That's fair,” Bucky said after a moment's thought. “I dunno what to tell you Becca Boo it just went well after that.” He smile in satisfaction at her wince at the stupid nickname. “Like the tension broke and we just started talking. He's nice.”

“He's hot as sin too.”

“The thirst is real?”

“Hush you know he was hot, Maria heard you admit you found him hot.”

“Yes, yes I did and yes, yes he is,” Bucky shrugged. “He's only here for a week Becks, if I mess something up it's not going to be the end of the world and I guess...I guess that's kind of freeing.”

“Get some big bro!” Rebecca replied with a light punch to his shoulder. Bucky felt his ears heat.

“Okay I don't know if I would go that far.”

“I would.”

“Okay ew.” Rebecca shrugged as Bucky made grossed out faces at her. “Seriously my little sister shouldn't be talking about sex. Not, like, around me. It's just weird.”

“So Puritan of you.” She replied with a roll of her eyes. ‘Still, in all seriousness, you are seeing him again, right?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “We’ve got a date tomorrow in fact.”

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

“We missed you at the circus yesterday,” Barton said in lieu of hello when he walked up to Bucky at the one of the foot path entrances to Congress Park on Circular Road. He looked good dressed in black jeans and a gray t-shirt and Bucky let his gaze linger like he'd wanted to the first few times he'd seen Barton.

“We?” Bucky asked, fighting the fidgets as Barton's eyes traveled over him as well. He'd tossed on a blue shirt and pair of skinny jeans just to shut Rebecca up. He thought it was a little silly to wear something to 'bring out his eyes' when he'd be wearing sunglasses the entire time but she'd been very insistent.

“The trapeze artists and myself,” Barton explained. “They were sure I was lying about yesterday's lunch and took your absence as proof of the lie. They're convinced I'm over the hill and couldn't possibly get a date.”

“Well we can't have that,” Bucky replied as he began leading the way into the park. “I couldn't leave the inn for the matinee yesterday but I might just be able to sneak away tonight.”

“The Maximoffs' will be so pleased,” Barton said, hand brushing casually against Bucky's.

Bucky smiled shyly but allowed Barton to link their hands as they walked. Congress Park was one of the bigger parks in the city not to mention a popular one at that so the contact was a good idea as they wound around the footpaths. Bucky pointed out the casino and the history museum after they'd circled the south end of the park, explained a little bit of the history as he'd been told and how it was mostly used for weddings and special events now.

“And here we have Congress Spring that gives the park its name over under that pavilion and Columbian Spring on this side. That little statue you can see up there is Deer Spring, no wait Deer Park Spring, I think it used to be called Deer Spring. I'm kinda a crap tour guide if I'm being honest. I can tell you little tidbits but I admit I cheat off of brochures sometimes when I'm at the inn.

“You're doing great,” Barton replied, squeezing his hand briefly. “So these are the springs that gave the city its name huh?”

“Three of the now eighteen of them, yeah. Used to be a ton more too but things happen, they get tapped out or somehow lost. For instance, I guess Columbian used to be different, arguably the most popular actually, but the original vein was lost so now it just is the generic municipal water supply.”

“Let's skip that one then, I wanna try one straight from the source.”

“They all taste different you know,” Bucky said, obligingly leading Barton over anyway. “The minerals and such – that's why the coffee shop had the sign for the tea and smoothies. They grab a few bottles every day from the State Seal Spring and brew the tea – supposedly its water tastes the best and then the Polaris spring for the Polaris Smoothies because its mineral content enhances them.” Not that he understood how it enhanced them - he couldn’t really tell much of a difference, at least taste wise, between a regular smoothie and a Polaris Smoothie but maybe his palate wasn’t that developed. Some people swore there was a huge difference.

“So you're showing me inferior springs today? I'm hurt,” Barton said with a smile to show he was kidding.

“Nah, just some of the easiest to get to from the inn. You need a car to get to the ones in the state park.” He didn’t need to raise what was left of his arm to make his point, he and Clint were on the same wavelength already, thankfully.

“If I grab an extra helmet I can pick you up on my bike tomorrow,” Barton offered and Bucky paused for a moment. This date-thing they were doing wasn't even half done and already Barton was making plans for tomorrow? Then again, he reminded himself, they only had a week anyway for whatever this was – why not?

“I think I would like that,” he replied with a grin as they separated so Barton could approach the spring. He paused, then stepped back to hand Bucky his phone.

“For posterity!” He flashed a grin at Bucky then stepped back and cupped his hand under the flow of water. He knew from experience that Congress was a little strong though still fairly palatable. Not as salty as some springs and thankfully with a much milder smell than many others.

“It's fizzy what the fudge,” Barton said and Bucky laughed both at his reaction and his self-censorship.

“It's more healthy that way,” Bucky replied snapping a few pictures as Clint took another sip. “You're gonna have to send me a few of these,” he said without thinking and Barton just wiped his face and nodded.

“I will add you to the list. But only if I can get a selfie with you.” Bucky nodded his consent, though he wasn't sure he was entirely prepared when Barton pressed in close to him. He soaked in what he could in the moment - the heat of another body against his, the smell of Barton – and very nearly forgot to smile as Barton snapped the picture.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

“If I didn't love that smile on your face these long lunches of yours would be killing me,” Rebecca told him the following day when she arrived to relieve Bucky from desk duty a little early. His sister was being remarkable silent on the matter and that worried him because he was pretty sure that meant she'd clearly get him later somehow. Some sort of teasing with dinner or otherwise. Still, he wouldn't complain. He had a date to enjoy.

Barton was there to pick him up at 10am sharp, looking fantastic again in a black tee that advertised the circus and a pair of sinfully tight black jeans. All thoughts of his sister and potential plots fled his mind as he settled on the bike behind Barton. He hadn't been on a bike since losing his arm and he wasn't sure what to expect.

“Been riding a bike since before I was legal to,” Barton said. “Just hold on tight, I'll take care of you.”

Bucky obligingly leaned in and wrapped his arm around Barton. It was closer than he'd been to another man in an embarrassingly long time and, as they wound through the city and out to the park, he found he enjoyed it more than he cared to admit. Barton was solid heat in front of him, his muscles shifting against Bucky's chest as he drove the bike. It was silly, but Bucky really wished he could smell Barton, something that was impossible in the full face shielded helmet. He took enjoyment where he could get it, tightening his arm around Barton as they drove through the park, smiled though he couldn't see it when Barton briefly placed a hand on his over his midsection.

Bucky wasn't sure what they were doing – was it right to call it a fling? It was too long to call a one night stand but surely it wasn't a relationship... Whatever it was it made Bucky feel happier, more alive, than he had in a long time as they alternately walked and rode, checking out the sights and the springs. Barton became Clint somewhere along the way and Bucky was beyond glad he'd popped into the inn that day two weeks ago.

“This natural spring visit was a wonderful idea, what an incredible smell you've discovered!” Clint said when they were a good forty feet or so away from Orenda Spring and its strong sulphur smell reached them.

“Wait – just so we're clear, in this relationship I'm Princess Leia?” Bucky asked with a slow developing grin. He hadn't meant to use relationship because it was one in the most basic sense, sure, but it as he'd been wondering before it wasn't really a relationship relationship and maybe he was overthinking things because Clint didn't blink or flinch or react in any way at all to the word.

“I've never liked when people tell me the odds.” And Bucky felt a bubble of delight rise inside of him. Clint was so amazing.

They approached Orenda where a family was currently taking the waters. Well, mom and dad were, the kids were busy making gagging noises and daring each other to taste the water. Clint and Bucky hung back until they were done flicking water at each other and Bucky leaned in first to try it. And yup, just as minerally as he could remember, not the strongest of the springs, but also nowhere near the mildest either.

“Salty,” Clint said. “Not as bad as the smell would indicate, but I still prefer the State Seal one more.”

“I agree,” Bucky said, allowing Clint to thread their fingers together as they walked away to explore the creek near Orenda. The giant tufa deposit that created a mound from the spring to the creek was impressive and got a few pictures before Clint led them on along the creek, the air freshening the further they went away from the spring.

The trail got more narrow, more quiet – it felt more secluded until eventually they reached a little waterfall and Clint stopped. They took turns sipping water they'd bottled earlier and Bucky sighed and tilted his face to enjoy the sun, dappled behind the leaves of the trees. When he turned his attention back to his companion Clint was suddenly a lot closer, and he was starting at Bucky's lips.

“I was - I'm hoping-” he said as Bucky felt the pull in his stomach that signaled his own attraction.

“Yes,” he said simply and then their lips were pressed together, then again, before one tilted one way and the other parted his lips and then they were _kissing_. Clint tasted tangy like the spring water with something underneath that was uniquely him. Bucky couldn't get enough, pressing closer, deepening the kiss, surprised at how much longing he felt. How much he really wanted Clint. But they were in public, albeit a secluded area, so he allowed the kiss to soften again until they pulled apart, breathing heavily, lips puffy and on Bucky's side at least, tingling.

“Wow,” Clint breathed, eyes looking darker. “I had a feeling you know, but that was...”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Bucky replied, allowing himself to smile wide and bright.

“Tonight, after the show...you should,” Clint paused, uncharacteristically shy, “You should wait for me.”

“I will.”

 

~~

 

Anticipation of what might be happening later that night meant Bucky only half paid attention to the circus that evening, the majority of the acts passing in a blur of color and music as his mind struggled to keep from thinking about Clint. The things Bucky wanted to do to him. The things he wanted Clint to do to _him_. Before he knew it the show was over and he was shuffling over to the backstage area trying not to clutch the badge Clint had given him every time someone passed him.

“Hmm, I had thought you might be taller,” an accented voice said from behind him and Bucky whirled around, trying not to show how startled he was. “You are here for Clint, yes?” The white-blonde haired trapeze artist asked. “He talks about you so that I feel like I know you – a little anyway.”

“I um,” Bucky had no idea what to say to the man, whose face was set in an amused smile.

“Come, I will take you to his trailer. He is changing, we will surprise him.”

“Oh I'm not su-”

“Is fine, he will not be upset,” the man replied with a wave of his hand as he guided Bucky out of the tent and into the maze of trailers and stopped eventually at a purple one. He knocked on the door and a familiar voice called out.

“Yeah, just a sec.”

“I have your boyfriend out here!” the trapeze artist said, sing-songy tone to his voice and Bucky felt a blush instantly steal over his face even as he heard Clint swear and bump into something before the door was wrenched open.

“Pietro stop-oh, Bucky, shit.” Clint was shirtless and gorgeous and Bucky felt his mouth go dry because it was one thing to see him that way from afar and another entirely from up close.

“You told me to wait-” he said dumbly.

“I did, I did – I'm-” Clint huffed out a breath. “I didn't expect this one to find you though,” he hooked a thumb at the man whose name must have been Pietro. He looked rather pleased with himself and took the opportunity to gave a jaunty salute before running off with surprising speed. Clint called out something in some Slavic language from what Bucky could tell and then his expression softened as he turned his gaze back to Bucky. “I'd invite you inside while I finish changing but then I don't think we'd leave.”

Bucky senses turned up to eleven and his stomach fluttered. Clint wanted him. Wanted him enough that he was worried about being alone with him right then. He felt a heady sort of power that was unfamiliar because it had been so damn long. “Would that be so bad?” he asked, voice going husky. Clint let out what could only be called a whine and Bucky watched his fist clench.

“Okay not fair-” Clint replied. “I don't – this crowd – I was hoping for a bit more privacy tomorrow morning and I know this group of idiots won't give us that.”

“Yeah?” Bucky said softly, edging closer to the steps that Clint was standing at the top of. And sure his sister would give him shit but she at least would respect his privacy for at least a good hour after his normal wake-up time. She was invested in this only a little less than Bucky was when he thought about it.

“Yeah,” Clint replied, his eyes staring at Bucky's lips, going wider when he licked them. “Five minutes Buck I swear.”

“Five minutes,” Bucky replied, sounding calm as anything even though it felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest. Clint very nearly slammed the door and Bucky was pretty sure he heard some cursing and things falling over inside as he finished changing and Bucky waited.

By mutual understanding they didn't kiss when Clint emerged, simply pulled on their helmets and got on his bike for the ride back. It had been an absurdly long time for Bucky so the sense of anticipation coupled with being pressed up against Clint's body and the vibration of the bike had him sporting a semi by the time they pulled into the garage below his apartment. He was gratified to see that Clint was not unaffected as they stood a few feet apart, helmets in hand.

“Upstairs,” he decided with a nod, setting the helmet carefully to the side and walking up the stairs as quickly as he could without looking like he was in a hurry, keenly aware of Clint's eyes on his ass as he walked.

They came together for a kiss as soon as the door closed behind Clint and all thoughts to actually show him around the apartment fled from Bucky’s mind as they broke apart and he led Clint to the bedroom.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

Bucky woke the following morning to Clint watching him. He was propped up on his side and looking at him. "Morning gorgeous," Clint said before pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"Hey handsome," he replied, angling his head until their lips met in a brief press. Bucky glanced at the clock and saw it was just before his normal wake up time. Thanks body, he thought with an inward grin. So nice of you to keep a schedule.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Clint asked, he was running a finger lightly over Bucky's skin. He hadn't been touched like that since the accident and he found he liked it more than he had before. 

"Nothing much to be honest, it's close to when I'd get up for breakfast actually."

"Yeah?" A smile curved Clint's lips and Bucky realized he must have his ears in already. How long had he been awake?"

"Yeah," he replied. They probably had to get up early at the circus he decided. "When you due back anyway?

"I," a kiss to his shoulder again. "Am not due back," one to his collarbone, "until an hour to curtain," a final one to his neck. "I'm all yours for now," and well, what else could Bucky do but accept and let them get carried away in a passionate kiss. One thing lead to another and Bucky was coming for the second time in a twelve hour span. He felt giddy with it, like a damn teenager too horny to know what to do with himself and he shared that observation with Clint which sent both of them to laughing before they got up to clean themselves up.

“Do I look okay?” Clint asked for the third time as they made their way over to the inn.

“You look beautiful dear,” Bucky joked, though there was truth to the statement - Clint did look damn good. He just didn’t know if they were at the pet name stage of things yet (or if dear was something he’d actually want to call Clint if they did use pet names). Not that anything about this relationship was going through normal stages and and...he was overthinking again he realized with a sigh when Clint jostled him lightly.

“I’m serious, I want to make a good impression on your sister.”

“She likes you already ‘cause you make me happy,” Bucky said as he opened the door and they stopped for a moment just to look at each other. It was true, Clint made Bucky happy.

“Jimmy stop letting the flies in and let me see your boy toy,” Rebecca said, causing the two of them to snap out of it and guiltily enter the inn. 

“Clint Barton, boy toy extraordinaire,” Clint said offering his hand to Rebecca who took it with a laugh. 

“Okay I like you,” she replied, her eyebrows raising, impressed, when Clint then offered to help her sit back down at the table she’d been waiting at. 

Maybe breakfast with the family wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

Clint was fidgeting by the time that Bucky closed the door the following evening and Bucky's heart sank because he was hoping they could put off the talk of him leaving until at least tomorrow and talk of leaving was about the only thing he could think of that would make Clint nervous like that.

“So uh, last shows are Saturday,” Clint said half to his hands and half to Bucky once he finally raised his face.

“I think I forgot about the matinee,” Bucky admitted sadly. They could have breakfast together but that would be about it that day. Hell with packing up and everything it was likely Clint wouldn't be able to do more than maybe give Bucky a goodbye kiss after the show...

“Yeah – Nat's pretty stoked about the ticket sales for it too.”

“Are you guys adding another one tomorrow or something?” Bucky asked because he knew going into this it would be a week and only a week but suddenly he needed more time with Clint and the idea that he was going to lose his midday dose was this close to shattering him.

“What? No, nothing like that. I was actually uh,” Clint twisted his fingers together before bringing one hand to the back of his neck. His bashful or nervous tell. “Actually wanting to talk to you about next week.”

“You'll be gone next week,” and shit he hadn't meant to let that much emotion into his voice.

“About that – I uh. Well we're not starting shows in Burlington until the 6th.” Clint's gaze became...well if Bucky had to put a word to it he'd go with hopeful. “Some of the gang is going to stick around here for the fourth and I was wondering if-”

“Yes,” Bucky probably should've been embarrassed by how eagerly he'd just agreed to something without hearing what it was. “Whatever it is, if we get to spend more time together yes.” Clint's response was the blinding smile Bucky was starting to fall in love with.

“So uh should I get a room like the others or-”

“You can bunk with me.” Bucky replied, as if he would've said anything else. As if he wasn't going to grab this extra time by the horns and spend every waking moment he could with Clint.

“I was hoping you'd say that,” Clint said, smile dimming only to be replaced by something a little sexier as he prowled up to Bucky and gently pushed him up against the door.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

The next two days passed in a blur and before Bucky realized it he, along with Rebecca and John, was attending the circus for the final time. He tried to pay attention to the colorful acts, especially since he really did enjoy them, but all he could think about was the fact that he was going to have Clint all to himself for a few days after it ended.

Clint found him and Rebecca after the show, sharing a kiss with Bucky before taking Rebecca's hand. “Thanks for letting me hang around for a little while,” he told her.

“I mean it's Bucky's space but you're welcome anytime,” she replied. “I mean that. There's a free room for you anytime you need it. Hell I’d even set aside the Secretariat Suite for you,” Bucky blinked at his sister, the Secretariat was the biggest and best suite at the inn, what had come over her? Meanwhile, Clint gave her another wide smile in thanks.

“I'll see you in an hour or so? I don't have to do too much, just grab some of my stuff and secure my trailer so the rousties can move it.”

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

For the first time in five mornings (five! So many but also so few) Bucky woke up before Clint. He carefully held still at first until he ascertained that Clint was still deeply sleeping. He looked peaceful, younger though he wasn't that much older than Bucky. He'd joked before about it being creepy to watch your partner sleep but now he realized the lure of it.

“You watching me Bucky?” Clint asked, proving that the change in breathing had been him waking up. He kept his eyes closed though so Bucky gave in to his urge to touch, reaching over and caressing an 'm' on his cheek. Smiling as Clint smiled at him. “Maybe huh?” Clint chuckled then tilted his face, searching until Bucky's fingers brushed his lips, he pressed a quick kiss to them, then blinked open his eyes as Bucky swiped a thumb back and forth on his jaw.

“Morning gorgeous.”

“Hey handsome,” he replied – if Clint was going to mirror that first morning together so was he.

“This is nice,” Clint said, lips curling into his familiar relaxed partial smile. “I like waking up with you.”

“Me too,” Bucky replied carefully so that Clint could read his lips and they both laughed at the implied joke that Bucky liked to wake up with himself, maybe because that was easier than admitting that waking up together was all too easy and something they both wouldn't mind doing for forever; and they share a brief kiss, laughter still dancing in their eyes.

“Anything pressing today?” Clint asked and the lack of any sort of smirk or press of hips had Bucky thinking he didn't mean it as a parlay into sex.

“Not really.” he replied and huh – unlike the other mornings it seemed Clint was content to go sans aids for now. “I'm usually 'off' on Sundays,” he said, making quotes around off with his fingers. “But sometimes I go to the farmers market with John.” John was happy to give Bucky a lift and was okay to let him do his own thing if he wanted or help him with his own shopping. Really, Bucky had gotten pretty luck in the brother-in-law lottery because John rolled with his moods almost as well as Rebecca did.

“Farmers market huh?”

“In the spa park.”

“D'you think John would mind flying solo this week?”

“I don't see why not.”

“Hey baby, I saw you lounging there and I was wondering – you want a ride to the farmers market?” Clint waggled his bows as he asked and they slumped together in their laughter.

“I'm so glad we ran into each other at the coffee shop,” Bucky said, feeling brave in his giddiness.

“Me too baby, me too.”

 

~~

 

They lazed around for a little longer, exchanging kisses but not pushing the issue to another round of sex just then. There was time. Eventually Clint made them breakfast, simple food – ham and cheese omelets – but he made them well. After cleaning up and showering they got on Clint's bike and headed down to the park to peruse the farmers market.

By this point in the summer Bucky was familiar with a few of the vendors from previous visits and he introduced Clint to them as a friend though a few did recognize him as someone from the circus. They spent the better part of the day there just poking around, getting lunch, and enjoying their time together.

The next few days passed much the same with Clint and Bucky just hanging out together, talking and getting to know each other better. 

When Bucky had shifts at the desk Clint sometimes sat at the desk with him charming any guest that came by with his natural charisma. Other times he was content to sit in the reading room with a laptop and a few books, either doing circus related work or just enjoying his time off by catching up on leisure reading.

More than once Bucky noticed Clint and his sister talking together in hushed tones and he was curious but somehow kept out of it. It was enough for him that the two of them seemed to get along so well...and that was the rub wasn't it? Because really it didn't matter much how well Clint got along with his family or how seamlessly he fit into Bucky's life because he would be out of it again before long. Bucky didn't want to think about Clint leaving, though it was getting harder to do as time passed and his departure loomed.

He had an hour to himself on the fourth while Clint helped John with the preparations for the inn's cookout and he called Steve. Steve, having been his best friend for just about forever, noticed a change in his overall mood right away and he spent the better part of the hour talking about Clint, how they'd met, how much he adored him, and then how much he was dreading when he would say goodbye. 

For all that Steve could be a little shit and give him hell he also gave good advice. Even if it was rose tinted on occasion. "I know it won't be easy but this guy sounds like the real deal for you. Something will work out, I'm sure of it.”

Clint and Bucky made love that night and then again the following morning, lounging together in bed afterwards for far longer than any other morning. They ate breakfast at the inn then retreated to Bucky's couch where they cuddled, kissed, and pretended not to look at the clock. Eventually after a late lunch that Rebecca brought over they said their final lingering goodbyes.

 

~~

 

Clint: _“Won't be the same without you in the audience,”_ Clint texted the next evening, sending a picture of him decked out in his Hawkeye outfit, expression an exaggerated pout.

Bucky: _“Be there in spirit,”_ Bucky replied.

The texts and phone calls where frequent, making Bucky grateful for such a thing as unlimited texting and minutes. They used Skype and Clint updated his data plan to help cover the amount of time they used to talk to each other.

The racing meet opened on July 20th and even though the first big weekend wasn’t until the Whitney on August 3rd, there was a corresponding uptick at the B&B because of it, and not just because of the inn traffic itself - they were open to anyone that walked in for tea time as well (especially important during the off season when they needed a little boost money wise).

“Your pining is starting to really get to me you know,” Rebecca said the morning of July 25th.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, feeling regretful. It was only supposed to have been for a week, he knew that, trouble was he now understood that a week was never going to be enough with Clint.

“Here,” Rebecca opened his hand and placed a bus ticket in it. “Go do something crazy.”

“Becks…” It was a bus ticket to Worcester, which just so happened to be where the circus was currently located.

“He’s expecting you,” she replied with a smile.

“But Whitney weekend-”

“You’ll be back just in time for it. Go. See your boyfriend.” 

Bucky couldn’t help it, he grabbed his sister, arm carefully below the baby bump, and twirled her around in a hug of pure joy.

 

~~

 

Clint returned the favor two weeks later stopping by the inn again as the circus traveled from Ithaca west to Cambridge Ohio.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

“Morning gorgeous,” Clint said one cold day in December. Only, the thing was, he said it while standing in the foyer of the inn, surrounded by baggage and not via Skype as had been their custom the last however many months (4 months and 5 days a part of his mind supplied).

“What...How…” Bucky stayed behind the desk as if the solid presence of it would protect him. Protect him from what he had no clue though. Perhaps the beautiful illusion of the man he loved standing right in front of him after being apart for so long being just that - an illusion. That if he moved Clint would dissolve into nothing and he’d still be looking forward to their daily call and only their daily call as a way of keeping in contact. 

“So I heard there was this cool little in in Saratoga that could use a little more help ‘cause the big boss had a baby recently and, well, I don’t have the obvious job skills but my references are golden and I’ve got an in with the innkeepers totally hot brother-”

Bucky broke into action, moving around the desk and dashing across the room to crush Clint in the tightest hug he could manage. 

“How long?” Bucky asked, hand caressing the side of Clint’s face after they had shared a lingering kiss.

“Well uh that’s the thing,” Clint shuffled, uncharacteristically shy and nervous. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

“But the circus…”

“Will run fine without me,” Clint replied, his own hand smoothing Bucky’s hair, then settling at the junction of neck and shoulder. ‘I wanna see where this thing between us will go. I wanna be with you, if you want me, that is.”

“I can’t think of anything I would love more,” Bucky replied, smile radiant.

 

 

~~|~~

 

 

Bucky groaned as the alarm went off. It was too damned early to be getting up and he wasn't sure he really wanted breakfast that badly. He whined and flopped his right arm out uselessly. He'd have to move to get the alarm.

"Shhh babe," a voice intoned as a hand stroked up his back and scratched at his head. Bucky curled his arm around Clint's midsection and tucked his head more solidly against him as he reached over to turn the alarm off. The buzzing under the pillow stopped at the same time as the noise and Bucky gave a contented little sigh.

"You are just about the most adorable non-morning person ever," Clint said and he must have put at least one ear in from what Bucky could feel of his movements.

"Morning is overrated."

"But breakfast is amazing."

Bucky's phone chimed with a text and he muttered into Clint's skin as his lover reached out to read the text.

"You sister says good morning," he said, stroking Bucky's hair. "And that if you want to see any food from them we better get over there in the next half hour or she's feeding it to Jax."

"Jackson isn't even a year old he can't eat my bacon. And eggs aren't good for kids his age."

"But he might gum your toast to death."

"Nooooooo toast," Bucky whined again but then raised his head to look at Clint.

"Morning gorgeous."

"Hi handsome." They stared stupidly at each other, too much in love to care about much of anything until the phone chimed again. Clint broke his gaze and read it, laughing the instant he did, then held the phone up for Bucky to see.

Rebecca: _Circus boy, stop making eyes at my brother or I'm putting you on desk duty All Day Every Day during August and trading Bucky to Maria for help at the shop for a box of bagels._

"Well, I suppose we should get going then," Bucky said. "I'd hate to lose seeing you during the racing meet." He paused a moment then grinned. "It's that or run away to the circus when it comes through in a week."

"Well you are the world's sexiest man and while I think there is a market for that, I also know I am happier right here," Clint replied.

Although he'd been joking, the truth in Clint's expression when he said he was happier right there with Bucky made his heart feel like it was going to burst he was so happy. 

"Well," he began a moment later, once the lump had cleared his throat. "I guess we'd better get up then."

"I guess we should," Clint agreed and with that, Bucky got out of bed and led his lover to the shower, ready to begin another day.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [redsector-a](http://redsector-a.tumblr.com)


End file.
